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[Jan. 31st, 2010|12:56 am] |
Emotions. Is that what makes us human? How do you define the amount of emotion that one has? It's subjective, yet there is a need for a certain level of emotion in particular situations. I can safely say that emotions play a huge part in our lives, and how we portray them reflects our character itself. This will indirectly lead to the number of friends we have, and the number of people whom we can relate to.
I find it a mystery on how emotions can be controlled. If emotions are controlled, will they be shown genuinely? It has always been puzzling to me, how people can hold back their tears, how people can supress anger. Yes, it has everything to do with the present situation and how you'd be viewed, but how many of us can really be ourselves all the time. There are so many times that i wanted to cry, but i held back. So many situations that i wanted to flare up, but i controlled. Does the society have control over your emotions now? That we should be behaving on the basis of social acceptance, and be fully considering the reactions that one would receive before showing them out?
How different. When i was a kid, it always was a perfect world. Nice people, sweets, chocolates. Okay, that was redundant. But when i was little, there wasnt so much of controlling of emotions. I could flare up just because i didn't get what i wanted. I could just cry in public in any situations. But now, no. You don't get what you want by crying/being angry, you get fucked. And then you get people telling you things like 'Life isnt fair', or 'Swallow it or you'd get worse'. Such is the result of evolution, and education. Things are not as simple as they seem. The more knowledge one acquires, the more reason one has to fight for their rights.
Knowledge, is it useful, or is it just a curse. It is what turns humans against one another, it is what brings down the level of satisfaction everywhere. Everyone begins to start questioning. Everyone begins to start proving their points and putting their points across the hard way.
Look at the uneducated people in 3rd world countries, how free are they from the government grasp? No matter how peaceful they want to live, it will ultimately succumb to the interference. The smarter people would manipulate the less educated, such is life.
I sit in front of the computer, trying to justify actions that people do. Sometimes it's just so hard. It's just so difficult to fathom the human mind, to feel how they feel. That is why i don't expect people to understand me fully, because if they say they do, i can assure you it's not true. It's hard to accept the changing world as it is, but we havent got a choice. Because in this world, you eat, or get eaten. I'll rather be selfish. I'll rather be the one manipulating people, than to get manipulated.
Pardon the errors. I'm just too lazy to go thru. |
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| Hachiko. |
[Jan. 26th, 2010|01:45 am] |
We're always waiting in life. Waiting for the bus, waiting to head out, waiting for messages/calls. In some cases, we can't really control the timings of what's gonna happen. But sometimes, with the outcome clear in our heads, we still wait. It's the faint glimpse of hope that crumbles us ultimately.
Or maybe love is a waiting game, where cards are played to please, and the game ends when one gets the better of the other. |
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[Jan. 20th, 2010|10:09 pm] |
Everytime I click onto livejournal, wanting to do a decent post, I end up having a blank mind. Being sick the past few days hasn't been enjoyable. Nonetheless, it was a good catch-up on my sleep. I think I've clocked almost 40hours on my bed for the past 3days. Eating has been a chore, especially when I'm so picky with what I eat. For a $15 bowl of Ramen, I taste bland noodles. Even Tauhuey tastes.. I dunno, weird.
That aside, life has been bland. The scouting of tutors for A level subjects proves to be horribly difficult. Say $400/month for 1 subject, I'll have to fork out $1200 for 3 subjects?! This is starting to unveil into a bad idea. I feel pressurized somehow knowing I've to squeeze so much into my brain within the next 2years.
Army army, so near yet so far.
I'm in love. |
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[Jan. 14th, 2010|11:20 am] |
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The feeling of not being able to do anything, and knowing you've moved on so easily. No one would know how much it hurts. |
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[Jan. 12th, 2010|11:59 am] |
What attracts you to a certain individual? The beauty of the face? Or maybe, the perfect sculpture of a body? I guess we cannot see through a human's outer shell. It's always the physical beauty of him/her, that makes you wanna get close to the person, that makes you wanna know that person.
How many a time have we encountered a really good-looking person, only to find that their personalities are such turnoffs? Let's just say it happens all the time. At the end of the day, what matters is the whole package. What matters, are the gestures and efforts one puts into a relationship.
I suppose I hvnt been reflecting on myself enough, to see what kind of a person I was. I've always thought the most negative possibility of any situation, maybe I was brought up this way. I've never questioned myself, why do i criticize so much? Time to do a check on myself, and find out what makes someone dislike me.
Always thought I was pretty grown up in a sense, but after certain incidents, I have to think twice. Actions have led to heartaches and disappointments. Not pushing the blame to immaturity, but I'm taking it in. It's time to REALLY grow up mentally, and show thru actions.
I want to get back what I've lost, what I've failed to cherish. Time does miracles. |
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